Father/Son Valentines are just Icky

OK, first, let’s dispense with the tired stereotype of the absent-minded, romantically clueless male, running to the card shop at the last minute to load up on armfulls of roses and chocolates and find that perfect paper sentiment that expresses his undying love in a way he never could. Or diamonds, when he comes to understand that isn’t enough. Shall we? There were two other people buying cards with me today, and neither of them were male.

I’d rather not buy into the whole, “if you love me, you’ll cut down those living flowers so I can watch them die in front of me, then I want you to exploit children and poor people at the behest of an African warlord so I can have a rare, shiny rock, and make sure you purchase someone else’s measured sentiments from the industry responsible for making you feel worthless for not participating,” thing.

The chocolates are tasty, though.

I have memories of being in grammar school, and cutting and gluing the same manufactured sentiments for my classmates they were compositing for me. Many of the 3-4-year-olds in my son’s class worked on similar sentiments. Admittedly, there’s a big, “aww” moment when your preschooler throws his arms out and yells, “happy valentime’s [sic] day!”

Call me a purist, but the purpose of the day honoring St. Valentine is to celebrate romantic love. Not, “I love you, man,” love. I’m not any more comfortable with my 3-yr-old son expressing romantic feelings for the girls in his preschool than for the boys. It’s just not appropriate.

I love my family. I love my son. My wife gets Valentine’s Day cards.

Yeah, I know a lot of people use the occasion to express their, shall we say, less romantic feelings for the people close to them. But I’m not eager to meet the father who’s expecting the, “Be my Valentine, Dad” card that I saw today from his son.

Published in: on February 13, 2010 at 10:24 am  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You have Valentine wrong – it is not a day of “romantic love,” but of honoring martyrdom. [check Wikipedia] Hence, in your analysis – you should be the one getting the “card.” Who better than the person who complains that others cannot see the “true path” – and seemingly, only he can? So happy Valentine’s day Fudo Myoo!

  2. it’s a day honoring St Valentine, himself a martyr, not martyrdom itself.

    a day that has taken on the symbolism of Cupid, in the form of a cherub, shooting arrows at couples whereby they fall instantly in love, is exactly what I mean. Not an appropriate metaphor for a grown man and a young boy.

    Wikipedia, editable by anyone, is not a valid source – you need to check your citations.

    And while you’re doing your research, also look up “martyrdom.” It’s not someone who thinks their ideas are correct, while everyone else is wrong.

  3. Ah, Fudo Myoo has risen with his sword! Is this not a form of martyrdom? While you may not have starved yourself to death, yet, to demonstrate your “faith” in your ideas – or been killed (at least I hope not) by others who despise your ideas; are you not putting yourself out there, seemingly on a limb in these difficult times, to demonstrate your “views”? Interestingly, your responding comments show that you may not be quite the liberal you think you are. What is wrong with a grown man, particularly a father, sharing his “love” with a young boy, his son, with a card or a gift. Or does the picture of a man and a boy disturb you on another level, which you cannot deal with?

  4. I’d ask if your elevator goes all the way to the top floor, but I’m guessing you get that a lot.

  5. Oh, the sign of a true procrastinator, hiding under a liberal skirt – just hit below the belt and run when things get tough! I thought you had more conviction than that!

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